Category: Love

Love is celebrated in various ways at different stages.  I’m not a counselor or anything like that, but from experience of myself and people I know, here are a few thoughts on the stages of love to participate in, observe, and celebrate over time.

Puppy love—No, not the puppy kind in this picture. 😊  The so-cute puppy love of a child who has just discovered the opposite sex and doesn’t want to be separated from them.  This is usually short-lived but there are occasions when it lasts a lifetime.  It’s adorable to watch their interactions.

Friendship—Friendship is a great time to spend time with friends in the company of others so that there’s an accountability factor in the relationships.  Have fun!  Enjoy being with others in a safe environment.  Take your time observing how others interact and respond.  After all, who wants to be friends with someone who is unkind or worse yet abusive?!  Here’s where you can isolate the one(s) who would not be a wise choice or a compatible one.

Dating—A young lady and young man meet, probably in the friendship stage, and decide they want to get to know each other so they go places and do activities together.  There’s no time limit on dating.  It could be short or could last for years.  It depends on the couple.  If something makes them feel uncomfortable or not sure about the relationship, this is a good time to find out and make a choice to stay together or break it off.

Engagement—A man and lady have spent considerable time in the dating stage and decided they’re right for each other and ready to take it up a notch.  A man asks the lady to marry him, she says yes, and the ring goes on her finger.  It’s still a time of getting to know each other even deeper as they discuss what their future together will look like, their goals, and their dreams.  It’s not too late at this point to break it off if a red flag starts popping up, but if you’ve spent enough time in the dating stage, you may have already discussed deeper things and are ready to make a move.

Marriage—Ah yes, wedded bliss, right?  It’s God’s plan but sometimes man messes it up.  Make your husband or wife a priority with your time and attention.  Focus on him or her and don’t allow distractions to entice you away.  Build on the good things and discard the things that tend to divide you.

Widowed or Divorced—Unfortunately things don’t always go as planned and you may find yourself alone again, but know that God loves you and there is still love out there for you to experience.  Don’t be afraid to step out when the right person or opportunity presents itself.

VALENTINE’S DAY is the perfect time to celebrate your love and especially God’s love with another person whether it’s a friend, spouse, child, or other family member.  It doesn’t matter which stage of love you are in right now.  CELEBRATE!

Here in the United States, we have one state in particular that has acquired the unofficial slogan that they are the Show me state.  While I don’t live in that state, it is also unofficially my slogan as well.  You can tell me anything you want, but be ready to back it up with actions.  I’m also the kind of person who learns better if you show me how to do something rather than tell me.  But once you show me, then let me run with it.  Micro managers who stand over your shoulder are not my favorite people.

If I asked you to show me what love is like, what comes to your mind?  Talk is cheap and sometimes things are, too.  The actions must match the words.  Teasing my boyfriend one day I told him that my love language is T&T and he thought I said TNT!  We had a laugh about that. 😊 T&T for me stands for talk and touch.  TALK to me about your day, how you feel, what your plans are, and anything else—just don’t clam up and shut me out.  TOUCH me on the arm or put your arm around my shoulder; I need to feel the closeness of someone who cares.

The “love chapter” of the Bible gives us many more ways of showing our love.  Were you patient with the cashier who was slow yesterday?  Are you kind to people who are not kind to you?  Be glad for others’ accomplishments and thankful for those who help you when you need it.  Take a deep breath and exhale the anger and frustration that is just under the surface.  Throw away the mental tablet where you’ve been keeping a list of all the things that someone has done against you.  Be glad when truth reigns.  Protect those who have no one to protect them.  Trust God and those whom He has put in your life who are worthy of your trust.  Base your hope on the promised eternal life God offers.  Don’t give up!

Greater love has no one than this:
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:13

Just like any good mom, I often had to tell my kids to say they’re sorry to each other or to someone else.  If you know kids, their response was usually Do I have to? OR Must I?

My two kids loved each other when they were little, but oh the sibling rivalry as they grew up!  Must I love other people?  What if I don’t want to?  What if it was an option or a choice to love your parents, spouse, or other family member?  Would you—ALWAYS?

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.
Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.
Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
John 13:34-35

The child’s reluctance to apologize is based on selfishness.  He did something to me or she took my toy.   Loving is based on desire to put the other person first. I love him so I’m going to forgive and forget our argument ever happened. When the two come into conflict with each other, human nature says selfishness will win out.   But love will be the victor when God’s love is propelling us on.  He commands us to love each other just as He has loved us.  This love shines bright and clear through all the dinginess of this world and lets everyone around us know that we belong to Him.

I had an inner discussion with myself just today, not about love, but about must I?  I was sitting so comfortable in my rocker with my cat curled up on my lap keeping me warm.  It was cold outside.  I knew I needed to get out there and walk.  But I didn’t want to.  I was too comfortable.  I asked myself must I?  My desire to be comfortable lost out as I thought about the benefits of exercise and how I had already lost 18 pounds and didn’t want to gain it back.  Yes, I must! And I did. 

An inner conversation like that happens quite frequently with me.  I need to motivate myself to do what is right just like our motivation to love is generated by God with the end purpose of proving to the world that we are His disciples.  Do you need to have such a conversation today to get you motivated?  What better time than now with Valentine’s Day right around the corner!

Is that your prayer?  Click on the picture above, sing along with the hymn, and make it your prayer.

If you have children or have opportunity to interact with them, I’m sure you’ve experienced their selfishness and unwillingness to share with others at times.  When one does share a little of what they have, the other isn’t satisfied.  They want more.

Contrast that with a grandmother who lavishes her time, attention, and love on her grandkids.  One hug or kiss isn’t enough.  She gives another and another…more love.  That’s what God wants from us…more love, more attention, more praise and glory for His Name.

I was reading some other articles and blogs on the internet, and one of them listed a series of “incredible things that happen when you give your heart to God”.  Guess what the first one was?  PEACE!  and another was that you experience real love.  Dear friends and readers, the two are definitely related.  Our love for God brings peace into our hearts and we can then experience all He has for us.  Don’t forget that three-letter word that’s so important:  ALL.  If we only give Him part of our love and attention, we won’t get the full effects of His love.  We must give God our full attention.  Dings and whistles and all kinds of notifications on our phones are good and very necessary in some cases.  I need that audible reminder when I have to get ready to go somewhere in case I fall asleep or get sidetracked.  But when I visit someone or have guests at my place, I prefer to silence my phone and that they would do the same.  If we are with someone, they deserve our full attention, not to be interrupted with distractions that can wait.  I want to give (and receive) more love, not less.  The distractions cause less, but focused attention gives more.

Some of my relatives enjoy a little banter back and forth.  One says I love you.  The other says I love you more.  The first one comes back with But God loves us most.  None of us can top that.  Let’s give each other and God more love in this season of the year and always.

I want to have a little fun with this post.  Think about the funniest, cutest, sweetest, or any other type of gesture of love that you’ve been the recipient of.  Then think of the gestures of love you’ve shown to others throughout your life.

“According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages, alongside words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service.  For people with gifts as a love language, the act of giving a gift serves as a gesture of affection and care because it shows the person was thinking about you while you weren’t around and wanted to find a way to make you smile. The gift also becomes a physical token memorializing a moment, experience, or feeling.”  Click here for more explanation at the source of this quote.

I like that definition.  Last year I celebrated 70 years of life and enjoyed spending time with family and friends at a party.  I specified no gifts but received some anyway which is to be expected.  They ranged from books to gift cards to eat out.  But the best part was just having family and friends present and talking with them.

The story I like the most is what happened after I shared a gesture two years ago before Valentine’s Day, and I share it to give you an idea how you can bless someone else.  There was someone in my neighborhood who was always complaining.  As I was praying about the situation, the Lord impressed on me that I was to buy her a box of Valentine candy.  My initial thought was, it would be my luck she’d be allergic to something in it and complain more.  But I obeyed what the Lord told me to do, bought the candy and placed an unsigned note and tract with it at her door.  A day or so later she came to my door and wanted to know if I was the giver.  I don’t like to lie and can’t keep a straight face if I tried, so I finally said yes.  What that did was open the door to tears and sharing on her part, understanding on my part, and a hug.  You never know what God can do with a small gesture of love.

So what was your memory of gestures of love?  Is it something that you can pass on to someone else?  You may not think it’s much, but it’s worth the time and effort to brighten someone else’s life.  With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, here are some suggestions if you need one:

• Flowers from your garden this Summer
• Homegrown vegetables from your garden
• Wood carving if that’s your hobby
• Handmade craft item
• Even a Dollar Store knick-knack – After all, it’s the thought that counts!  (I love them!)
• Candy (Find out their favorite and make sure there are no allergies to nuts!)
• Jewelry
• Gift cards
• Spa Day
• IOU to babysit
• IOU to change the oil in their car
• Wash their car
• Mow their grass
• Weed the flower gardens
• Run errands
• Any good deed that will free up the other person to relax

All of these suggestions show your love and care for that special person, and they will appreciate it so much.  There’s a few days left until Valentine’s Day.  Don’t let the moment slip away.  If God is speaking to you, get a move on and show love to others.  More love tomorrow…

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have,
for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
Hebrews 13:16, ESV

Depending who you ask, there are as many as 12 different kinds of love.  In the Biblical context, however, there are basically three which will be the topic of this post.

Eros refers to physical or sexual love. The word eros was commonly used in the Greek-speaking world of New Testament times.  This is not a bad kind of love unless it is misused or misplaced such as before marriage.  Within marriage it can be a wonderful experience and brings two people who love each other into a closer and more intimate relationship.

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
Hebrews 13:4, NLT

Philos means warm affection or friendship.  We are to love each other and treat each other the way we want to be treated.  Friends care for each other, respect each other, look out for each other, and spend time with each other.  How are you doing in that area?  Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives that we forget that our friends need us, too, especially if they live alone.

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth
for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.
1 Peter 1:22 ESV

Agapē is the sacrificial, unconditional love of God.  If you completely measure up to this kind of love, I’d like to meet you!  You may have unconditional love for husband or wife or children, but only God has the truest sacrificial, unconditional love there is.  Sometimes we sacrifice time or money to help others, but rarely do we sacrifice everything we have for some person or cause. 

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 ESV

When our first Black Lab died after 11 years, we went to pick out a new puppy.  This momma Yellow Lab was loving on her puppies as they came to her.  When people come to you, do you show them love?  Sharing God’s love is the best we can do for people.  It will give them hope and peace as they navigate this world.  Make it a point to show God’s love to someone today.  More on gestures of love next time…