Forgiving ourselves. Before we can forgive others, we need to have God’s forgiveness, and forgive ourselves. You know what I mean??? Something happened that shouldn’t have and you are so upset that you let it happen that you can’t forget and forgive yourself. That’s especially difficult if there is a death or injury involved. It is definitely hard to forget such things, but it is possible to forgive ourselves which will enable us to eventually forget.
Holding yourself responsible for something that happened to you or someone else is not good. You are not in charge of what happens in your life and to those around you. God is the one who arranges the moves of life as you would the figures on a chess board. You are the one in charge of the moves on the chess board, but God is in charge of what happens in life. So if you lose a game of chess, you can blame yourself because you were the ones making the moves.
In life, you are not totally responsible for the outcome of a situation. You may have unknowingly or even purposefully contributed to a wrong and need to own up to your part, but God’s got it. He can make a wrong right, but don’t blame Him when a right goes wrong when it’s your fault. He wants to teach you through those hard times. So when you confess your part in the wrong and ask forgiveness, it becomes God’s responsibility. Now you and God can work to make it right.
Asking others to forgive us. This is the next step after talking with God about a sin that is against someone else. This is probably the harder of the steps and many people want to skip this one because they think that if they tell God, they don’t have to make it right with anyone else. Not true!
If the other person whom you’ve offended or wronged is not aware of what happened, it might be best to not only pray about it but talk it over with a pastor or counselor. (See the link on my home page for a good counselor who does Zoom.) There are times when confession to another person may not be the best thing to do, but as a rule of thumb, we should always confess to the other person.
When we go to the other person and ask forgiveness, we not only help ourselves but them to deal with the situation and move on. Explanations can be helpful. You and the other person might have a totally different perspective as to what went wrong and one or both perspectives may not be the truth in the matter. Being honest and talking it out is the point where healing begins.
Why should I forgive you? If in the past you’ve had a bad experience with confessing and not receiving an acknowledgement of forgiveness or they threw it right back at you, you may wonder if you want to do this again. That is natural. I had that experience with someone and it’s disconcerting. But not every situation is going to be the same.
“Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37b, NLT) Everyone needs forgiveness whether they are the offender or the offended. “Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” (Luke 17:4, NLT) Repeated offenses are exasperating and we tend to not want to forgive, but Jesus tells us not to keep tabs…just forgive!
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:14-15
Forgiving others. I’ve also had opportunities to attempt reconciliation that though it was a rough start came around to reconciliation. We need to forgive others if we want to be forgiven by God and others.
When I was little, my dog was left too close to my toys overnight and he chewed up one of my dolls’ dresses. As a child, I was so mad. As I look back now as an adult, that was the least significant loss of my life. I had to forgive my dog because he was just a puppy and didn’t know his toys from mine. If I hadn’t forgiven him, we would not have enjoyed our times together.
Results. Knowing that we have done our best no matter what the outcome should ease our conscience. Letting it in God’s hands is the best place for it to be. This is where healing and prayer come in which we’ll talk about tomorrow, and the next day fasting.
PRAYER POINT FOR TODAY:
Lord, it is so hard to go to another person and tell them the wrong I’ve done/said, but please give me Your strength to take that necessary step, and prepare the way.
- Week 1 – temptation
- Week 2 – confession, forgiveness, and fasting
- Week 3 – listening to God and answering when He calls
- Week 4 – God’s love for us
- Week 5 – waiting, anxiety, and trust
- Week 6 – suffering, pain, and struggles
- Easter – resurrection and salvation