I was out running errands one morning, not in the greatest of moods, and by the time I returned, I felt worse than when I started out. I thought if I got out among people it might help lift my mood. My first stop was to get my glasses repaired…I had to wait and couldn’t see to read without my glasses, so I stared out the window watching people go by. No one was smiling. Next step was at a store to research a solution…the associate was anything but cheerful (first customer of the day even!) and her tone of voice sounded like I was an intrusion on her morning. I went on to my next errand at another store…the cashier looked like he did not want to be there, was yawning and complaining about having to get up and go to work so early (9:30 am is not exactly early!). After that I had to shop at one more store…the employees didn’t look very happy and the shoppers were rushing through the aisles thinking only of their own agenda. Last stop was the gas station…thankfully it was self-service so I didn’t have to deal with any more grumpy, depressed, tired people.
All the people I saw, talked to, and interacted with this morning were anything but peaceful in their appearance. I asked myself have I presented myself like that to others? I admit at times I have, but I do try to be cheerful when I’m out and about even if I’m not feeling it at home. Our moods do affect others’ moods. I want to lift others up and bring a smile to their face, not cause them to be in a hurry to get away from me as if I’m poison. If I had come across one person who was truly cheerful and kind that morning, it may have changed my own mood.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”
Proverbs 17:22, NLT
None of us truly knows what the other people we come in contact with is going through but we can at least give a smile, thank you, and interact courteously. BUT on the flip side of that I have a problem when someone comes at me with overly cheerful responses when I’m having a bad day. It’s like having a bucket of ice cubes thrown at you when you’re already cold. I don’t always share with people the true answer to the How are you? question because I can’t handle some of the responses people give.
I’m sorry… goes a long way in touching the painful spots of people’s lives. Try these to impart a peaceful feeling to the hurting without adding to their pain:
- I’m sorry you’re hurting. PERIOD…don’t add anything else.
- I’m sorry for your loss. PERIOD…don’t come back with “where” the person is nor any of your own stories of loss.
- I’m sorry you were treated that way. Maybe add a touch on the arm or shoulder.
- I’m sorry that you’re not feeling well today. PERIOD…That person does not want to think about what tomorrow might bring. They are hurting now and just want to get through today.
- I’m sorry … You fill in the blank, but keep it short and focused on the other person.
- Ask them if they’d like to talk, and if they do, LISTEN.
- Ask them how you could pray for them, and DO IT THEN.
Show them you care in actions rather than words that don’t always help.
Prayer: Lord, I pray for those today who are going through struggles in life, facing situations that are trying and draining, needing wisdom and guidance, feeling lost and alone, weak and in need of strength and hope to go on. Meet their needs. Send myself or someone else into the moments of their day to encourage and lift them up emotionally, spiritually, and maybe even physically. Thank You for what You’re going to do in them and in me today. Amen.